Time to Get Real !

Time to Get Real !

I hear from my patients , clients , friends , relatives and people in general about how unhappy or miserable they are living in a relationship that is abusive emotionally or physically !

The usual story goes something like this : I was married for 15 years to this abusive man ! He controlled practically all my life from how I dress to how I even make my hair ! Which friends I can visit , when I can or not visit my family . How or when to have sex and what to eat or cook according to his wishes ! I was so miserable but thought that he may leave me if I do not follow his demands and wishes . I just went on with this tortured life living with this tyrant until finally I told my sad story to a friend . She advised me to see a therapist or counselor . I started seeing the counsellor and became stronger and more confidence to leave this abusive relationship . Now I am angry with God for leaving me in that bad situation . 

This is quite typical to find someone to blame for our faults or misery . Why not blame God who is after all responsible for all of us ! 

We have all done or have experienced some form of regret in our life . There will always be people

who will bully us or abuse us for any reason . It can easily start in the family and than extends to friends and work place . Human nature is complex and often the people who are close or love us also abuse us !

Life is really confusing at times . We get abused and make mistakes . The real issue is that we often go on getting abused for a very long time over and over again until that miserable life becomes our lifestyle ! Now that is really very sad !

We have to get up and Get real !

We always have choices but in times of stress , we are sometimes unable to see those choices .

Our vision becomes narrow and tunnel visioned ! We are unable to see what is going around us . We are only able to focus in the narrow area of our problems . It is a survival character . 

We cannot be enjoying the sights and sounds when we are running away from danger ! 

So , it becomes difficult to make clear decisions . We need to get some help .

At other times we can become strong and empower ourselves to get out of the bad relationship .

Whatever the choice , we have to realise that we cannot go on getting abused by people around .

Whatever our belief systems teach us , we simply have to understand that we are not here to get abused in any form . 

The law if living is really simple . We get closer to people who love us and move away from those who abuse us !

Keep it simple . It does not need some high learning to tell us or show us that life and living is for joy , happiness and peace . That is our basic nature and need .

Always just remember : We have to get up and get real ! Sorry , I had to get some very disturbing photos of abusive relationships ! Even , seeing the photos makes me so upset and angry ! This Has To Stop !!

Will stop now , take care . 

Till we meet again .

Amar.