Becoming and Being Aware of Life !

Becoming and Being Aware of Life !

At first , it appears strange and ridiculous to even have such a tittle as above ! Are we all not alive and living ! What more do I want to say to a fact that is so obvious ! Why do I want to make it complicated and complex with my abstract wordings . It's like spinning cobwebs to just trap the mind in this concepts that are spun out of the air !

What I want to share with you is my very personal experience of becoming aware of being ! We all have labelled and called ourselves Human Beings . The human part is alright because it is pointing to a species . What is ' being ' ? It seems we got that word right ! Was it just thought off just randomly ,  or there was some good deep thought given to the beingness ?! Being is a verb or noun ? Being is a process , a dynamic state , an ongoing situation or event . Is being an activity or it is simply being ? 

Let me tell you what I am trying or attempting to say . I know that I am a human being . Yet , I feel that I have become more of a human doing ! I am more doing than being !!

As a being , I can just sit and be ! I have sat silently without much movement and enjoyed a wonderful sense of peace , bliss and joy . Others seeing me just sitting and doing nothing and wondered or even asked what am I doing ? The simple reply is nothing ! Is that true ? Of course , not ! In doing nothing I have been just being ! In the ordinary simple sense of being , I am silently observing and watching how my mind , thoughts and feelings are going on !

I become mindful as some like to call it . Being still , I can see or watch how my chattering thoughts are running in all directions . Some thoughts are coming from there and some are going , god knows where .Initially , I thought I was the thoughts . Than , slowly , I realised that they are not really mine !

If they are mine , I should be in control or in charge . No , I am not in control or in charge ! They arise from some mind source and like bubbles , keep rising to the top to just go pop ! There are actually trains of this thoughts. 

Slowly , I was able to sit back and enjoy them as some private show that just going . Some thoughts were happy , others were pushy , demanding , bullying or down right intimidating ! I was just lost in wonder and awe . Who do they belong to , why are they crowding my inner space ? What do I do about them ? I had all this questions and wondering how to switch off the running motor . 

Slowly I learnt and became aware that if I just sat back and left them to their own, I could come to a quiet place within me ! I also realised that if I do not pay attention to these thoughts , they slowly become less demanding and pushy . Gently and in stages , I actually started to enjoy my inner work !

It became the most entertaining time for me ! Just sit back and see this crowded rush of

mind traffic !

This awareness and realisation that the ' I ' was quite independent from the thoughts and feelings , was for me a big jump ! A paradigm shift of sorts ! Now , I was aware of my being me or I above or beyond thoughts and feelings . I could see my thoughts and feelings expressing something to the contrary and I as me , not allowing that to be expressed ! I was now becoming free from these thoughts ! I could sit back and not react ! I could actually decide what kind of response I like to make?

That was the way , I was becoming more and more in control of just being .

I also became aware that the labels , identities and all the outer form was not really me ! It was just an extension to function in this mind world ! It was not really me ! The name Amar/ Dr Dhali / Amarjit or whatever other names were given to me were just to the ever changing form that was not me !!

As me or I , it was another game ! The real me was without a form ! Without a time/space format ! It just was awareness !! 

That was the time I  (whatever that means ) started to become free from all the unnecessary drama around my life . I can express all this state or awareness in so many different words and forms , that it does not really matter whatsoever !

I felt more contented , peaceful present , aware and constantly happy and joyful . I simply was in my natural state . 

A sense of being complete ! 

Today , my desire was to just share the sense of becoming and being . That too, just a superficial tip !

I need to take a break as just finding words from the mind can be so limiting ! I feel like just wanting to be quiet and sitting back ! 

Time to take a break. 

Till we meet again . Take care . 

Amar.