Growing up and becoming Aware !

Growing up and becoming Aware !

The morning sun was bright ! Everything was so fresh !

The green grass smelled fresh and nice . It had that special grass smell that

I enjoyed . It was soft . I loved to sit or just lie in this grass .

As I sat , I always became aware of another wonderful world !

You will only see that wonderful world , when you are very close to that !

Grasshoppers sitting quietly on the blades of grass . Green or light brown in 

colour that made them practically invisible even from being very close to them !

They were so many other small insects crawling around in their little world !

There were also very tiny flowers from the grass and other weeds .

This is how my childhood days were !

Running around , lying in the grass , chasing butterflies and catching grasshoppers .

Searching for wild berries or other fruits that I got used to .

Not a care in the world !

I lived in a simple house that was my home !

My loving mother always attended to my basic needs .

Dressed simple , ate simple , lived simple , yet was always happy and full of life !

This was my paradise !

As I grew up , I had to go to a school . 

Now , I entered the world of books !

Reading , writing and drawing became my new play things !

I still enjoyed my days .

Out of school , I was back to my country living !

I will walk along streams , sit by ponds or pools of water and just go into wonderland !

Daydreaming or just going into a trance like state was my usual past time !

I was so fascinated with everything around ! 

As , I started growing up and started seeing the world of grown ups , I became aware of another 

world ! 

People lived and believed in so many things that I could not understand !

Of all the things , the one thing that they all talked with fear , respect and mystery was something 

the grown ups called : God !

I was regularly taken to the place of worship on weekends but was left alone to do my things !

I played around or wondered what were the grown ups doing sitting so seriously and mumbling some words !

Thank god , nothing was ever forced upon me !

I only had to keep my hair long as was the tradition of my people !

Slowly but surely , this God started to also enter into my life !!

I was told that everything that I did or do was now being watched by the mysterious all seeing and all knowing entity known as God !!

Whenever I questioned more about this God , I started becoming more confused !

Everything about God was confusing and contradicting !!

The grown ups referred to this God as ' He ' ! 

So , God was a He ! A male . A man !

God , surely cannot be a child or a young man , I assumed or as they assumed !

All feelings and thoughts pointed to God being a very , very old man !!
This began my learning about the world of grown ups !!
I can tell you now , that the world of grown ups is quite confusing and crazy !
I know from my personal experience !
I allowed a part of me to grow for functionality !
The best part , I kept it in a state of Awe and wonder like I did in my early days of childhood !
That has saved me from the world of grown ups !!
I will end for now !
Till we meet again , take care .
Love.
Amar.