A Personal Journey of Reflections and Expansions !

A Personal Journey of Reflections and Expansions !

Today , I feel like sharing my own personal journey of reflections and expansions . One of my earliest traits was I was always wondering and literally wandering ! I was just very curious about everything and also why it was , as it was type of questions ! This kind of style , especially when you are young

and are being groomed to be obedient can cause problems for all ! I want reasons ! I want to understand why this and why that ! 

This kind of curious mind is easily labeled as being rebellious ! That is right as my mind was not going to be controlled easily . To be obedient means to surrender and summit to others without questioning

to any doubts ! It is like shutting of ones mind ! The only distinct and magical tool that we have that makes us different from all other living creatures . The most wonderful tool where we learn to think and feel ! The magical and mysterious tool will either make us to be creative or will destroy us !

So , as a young boy , I soon became aware that the price of freedom comes with a cost ! If I am told that I should do this or do that and I refuse or question that order , I will be punished in some form or another . The law of authority had started ! ' Mine was not to question why , mine was to do and die! '

This was the basic structure or pattern of parenting in the early 1950's for some parents who felt that sparing the rod means spoiling the child ! And yes , I got used to rods from the home to the schools of those times ! I was smart enough to see their pathetic need to control me for no other reason than to 

just tame me ! Taming simply means that I will obey without reasoning or questioning ! It also means that they will be spared the difficult task to struggle to answer my ever ending questions !

I could intuitively understand that and valued my intuition ! 

I knew my mother's worries and concerns . Basically she wanted a kind of robotic child who obeyed her rules which were extensions of the social structure of the society in which I lived . Follow that and all will be just perfect .

Of course , I had other plans . It was my time to explore , to search , to just wonder and to ponder what is the meaning of all that was happening around me . Why were the people being and doing what they did ! What is the very nature of creation ! This were big question for a small mind !

There were no computers in my youth. This is early pre-digital time .

I was really thirsty to know ! My curious nature was hungry . 

As there were little I could get from people around , I was fortunate to find a treasure house in a public library ! What a gift for a thirsty spirit like mine !

I will spend hours whenever I could find time . I was able to borrow books too ! Some of the books I borrowed were far beyond my so-called age ! I still remember borrowing books on philosophy and astronomy and wrapping them with old newspapers , least someone may see them and question me !

I will go far into the countryside and sit quietly under some tree and read these lofty subjects !

I just found them so very interesting and fascinating that just playing as other children did made no sense to me ! I found they plays too childish !

At the age of about 14 or 15 years , I was lost in the world of Light years , Galaxies , Relativity , Frequencies and Vibrations of all the universe !! 

I was so absolutely excited , confused and lost to the concept of infinity or an eternal universe !!

Even , as I type away my thoughts today , I am still as excited , lost and confused with infinity and eternity ! 

Somewhere deep within my intuition I have settled peacefully with that concept , but my mind is still baffled and unable to come to terms with a Creation that has no beginning and no end !! My limited mind cannot accept the unlimited !!

From this childhood beginnings , I started my journey of searching , seeking and reflecting in the mysteries of everything ! At the superficial level , I have manage to keep a front or mask and create a place in the social system ! At the deeper level , I am still the same fascinated and excited being who can still get lost in thoughts of Quantum Physics , Black Holes , The Big Bang and what was the nature of Creation before the Big Bang !! Dark Forces that can expand my mind . In the inner space , I extend myself into the Formless that can express in All Forms !! 

I sit in awe and wonderment thinking that what was I doing before I came to experience the human form ! I am equally excited to go on after this form crumples away, to explore the vast , never ending Universe for ever and ever !!!

I will end my blog today . 

Till we meet again , take care .

Amar.